Mom is going to camp!

Pack your bags Mom – you’re going to camp!  Don’t forget your slippers, best pyjamas, comfiest of clothes and…. maybe slip a bottle of wine into your bag, because this is not the kind of camp you send your kids to 🙂

Summer is almost over – unfortunately.  But it’s not all bad.  For me, and many of my clients, September is every mom’s January.  It’s time to get your life back!  You know what I mean 😉  We are at the end of 8-10 weeks of kids being at home, under foot.  We have spent the summer entertaining them and their friends, driving them around to various recreational activities, etc, etc.  Hopefully you have had a nice family vacation somewhere in there and maybe you sent your kids off to some kind of camp.  Hockey camp, horseback riding camp, tennis camp, day camp, art camp or perhaps away camp.  You researched what was available, chose the appropriate one, downloaded packing lists or “to bring” lists, organized, dropped off, picked up your own and perhaps others as well.  Busy busy busy.

Here’s my question: What did you do for yourself this summer?  Just you?  Not you and the kids, not you and your spouse… Just YOU… Yeah, that’s what I thought.  That makes you just like every other mother, young or old.  Everyone else comes first and when that’s all done and paid for there is no time and/or money left for you.  It is my passion and desire in life to change that for every hard-working, self-sacrificing, wonderful, loving and accomplished mother out there.  Even those who haven’t had young kids at home for a while.  I bet you still haven’t done much for yourself.  You just might be doing a little less for them… Am I right?

It came to be as a dream goal of mine.  You see; while I was raising 4 incredible boys and giving them, and their father, all of my time, energy and love, I somehow lost my dreams and myself, truth be told.  When my husband and I separated after 19 years of marriage, I had no idea who I was, what I wanted or what my dream was.  For the past 20 years all my dreams tied into his goals and dreams or those of our boys.  Suddenly I found myself asking WHO I was, WHAT I wanted and what happiness was to me.  It was an incredible journey that helped me find true inner joy.  I have always been a happy person of nature, but this was different.  I was in touch with myself.  Decisions became easy because I was in touch with the part of me that told me if it felt right nor not.

There were 6 lessons I learned that got me there:

1. I had to learn to really listen to what mattered to me.  Not everyone else… ME.
2. I had to learn what forgiveness was.  I thought I did, but I had no idea.  I learned to let go.
3. In order to do this I had to learn to love myself.  It was easier than I thought it would be.
4. I let my girlfriends help me get there.
5. I learned how to dream – big!  This is not about money, it’s about purpose, passion and fun.
6. I made a decision to not let fear of failure stop me.

I became a wonder woman 🙂

And now it is your turn.  Do for you what you have always done for your kids.  You send them to camp’s so they can learn more and have fun with their peers.  You sign them up for extra curricular sports teams so they can be active and healthy with other kids and learn about the benefits of being part of a team.  Your parents maybe did this for you, but when is the last time you spent time among other women, being kind to yourself, paying attention only to what you want and need?  When is the last time you took some time for you?  You know I am right.

You don’t say no to your kids, so stop always saying no to yourself!

I am so excited to be able to provide an opportunity for some very special women to do just that.  A place where you can feel safe and loved so you can let yourself dream and just be you.

So pack your bags mom, cause you’re going to camp!

See you there 🙂

Elisabeth xo

Difficult conversations with your kids

This definitely came to mind when I was thinking of things no one prepared me for when I became a mother.

Really scary right?!?  Am I saying the right thing? Giving the right advice?

There are several topics that may come to mind when I say this; and the sex talk may top the list for many… In fact, please comment below and name the topic you found the hardest to discuss with your child.

For me, the sex talk was no big deal.  Their father wouldn’t and said so, therefore I did.

I find it much more difficult when they come to me with a big, life-effecting questions like what kind of education to pursue; whether or not to break up with a girlfriend; or when needing help dealing with a friend-ship gone bad; self-esteem issues or other “life sucks sometimes” kind stuff.  It’s those times you just don’t know what to say because you might be too upset and don’t know what to say.  Or, maybe you are afraid to say the wrong thing.  Both of these have happened to me – several times.  I find it best if I just take a deep breath and think a little bit before I start saying something.

One of the most difficult conversations I ever had with one of my children was when my one of boys came to me because he felt he was fat.  He was in tears.  My knee-jerk reaction was to immediately deny; “no you’re not”.  But the thing was, he had gained weight.  He actually was a little over-weight.  But he was 13 and I didn’t want to create or feed any kind of body image issues, because I also knew that he hadn’t had his growth spurt yet and boys often fill ‘out’ before they grow taller.  No matter what I said he just kept getting more angry and upset.  He told me stop telling him he wasn’t fat and rather tell him what he can do.  So I did.  You can read the rest of that story here.  It turned out to be a really good conversation that allowed me to address a very difficult topic in a healthy and informative way.  Educating him and not belittle or diminish his problem by placating his concern.

Before I had children, I always thought the hardest part would be the early years when they don’t sleep, cry a lot, throw temper tantrums etc etc.  It never occurred to me that these years were the easiest.  Crazy busy, but emotionally easier.  Now, one of the things I often say is that those were easier years in that I always knew where my children were and how to solve their problems.  I lost sleep due fevers, stuffy noses and teething, not because I was living their worry – if you know what I mean.  They often come to me late at night with what is troubling them.  “Mom, can I talk to you?”  Of course!  So, I listen, I feel their emotions, I advise as best I know how.  They go off to bed and sleep well, feeling relieved and better after talking to me and for this I am so grateful.  I go off to bed and lie awake half the night worrying about whether I said the right thing and all the possible outcomes (worst case scenarios being the most prevalent).  I have a lot of grey hairs to show for this 😉  I love that they come to me and I never want them to stop, but I also find it mentally exhausting.   It is this emotional exhaustion I never expected, never knew about.

I get exhausted from carrying their burden.  Because as soon as they share it with me, it is mine as well.  And sometimes it is simply too much for me – there is 4 of them after all!  And sometimes I have a fair bit of my own stuff to deal with….  I will come across as impatient or ask them to figure it out on their own.  I feel so bad when I do this.  The thing is, sometimes it’s just too much for me and I don’t know how to help them.  They are looking for a solution and I can’t even figure my own life out.  I never knew how much I would feel their worry, sorrow and joy (more about that in the next post).  Their ups and downs.  I want to solve all their worries and make them happy every day. But life doesn’t work that way.  I am really good at handling my own ups and downs, but theirs… that’s a whole different story.

Thanks for checking back in!  You can read the previous, related posts here:

Life is different as a Mom (parent)

Is there something I could have done differently?

Mother Guilt

Is there something I could have done differently? (Part 2)

Probably.  I will never know if it would have changed the outcome, but I will always wonder if I could have done better by my firstborn.

No one every told me how much time is spent and sleep is lost second guessing our choices as parents.

Parenting is so much more difficult than I ever thought.  Our first is our “learning child” as parents.  From the moment my son was born I loved him like crazy.  He made me a mom and I loved it from day one.  I fussed over him, held him, played with him and when necessary scolded and disciplined him.  He was my life as were his brothers when they came along.

His elementary school years were good with lots of friends, rep hockey and other typical kid fun.  Until grade 6.  His best friend suddenly turned on him and started bullying him.  I never really understood why this happened, but the most obvious explanation was that he seemed jealous of a new friendship my son had with a new kid at school.  There were several occasions when he would just show up at home in tears at lunch time because he couldn’t take dealing with this boy and his cohorts.  When your child cries, so do you.  I lost sleep, worried and tried to make him feel better.

Then we moved to Chicago and a new school obviously with new friends.  He had lots of friends, but I saw an insecurity in him I hadn’t seen before.  I assumed it was a teenage thing, but looking back I realize it wasn’t.  He was scarred and never again felt truly confident and worthy of friendships.  He always tried so hard, so much harder than he needed to.  I felt he didn’t see what I saw; that he was this amazing kid with so much to offer.  He is generous, inclusive, fun, loves to laugh and be around people.  His friends liked him a lot.

His father and I divorcing didn’t help.

He is all grown up now and has finished school, and getting started with the rest of his life.  I am so proud.  He is such a great young man with so much to offer.  But I still see the wound, and it makes me so sad.  I wish there was some way I could prove to him what an amazing person he is, and how much we love him just the way he is.

What would I have done differently?  I truly don’t know.  The way I choose to see it I must have done something right because my wonderful, grown-up, baby boy calls me whenever anything good, or bad, happens in his life.  I am his first call – :).  I get to weigh in still.  I get to hear his joy and his sorrow, and feel it with him.  His pride when being chosen as captain on his hockey team in his last year in college, his joy, falling in love with his girlfriend.  His excitement with being done school and his despair over still not having secured a full-time job.  This is all part of life and he is living it.  Fortunately (or unfortunately), as his mom I get to live through it all again through him, and what fun it is.

Thanks to him I learned the ups and downs of being a hockey mom.  I know all the hockey rules and calls.  I did try to learn the

Clayton and I.
Northern SS, City Champs

rules of football, but was less successful here.  But no one prepared me for how happy I would feel when he made a rep hockey team or the Ottawa Sooners Football team in University, or how I would feel when he called me after his first game in Ottawa and said he kept looking up to the stands for me out of habit, but then would remember that I wasn’t there…. can you hear my heart breaking into pieces?

He calls me his biggest fan, and I am.

Love, Mom xo

Kjære mamma

Happy Mother’s Day to you mamma

Both of us are now mothers of adult children.  Despite what I may have thought before, I realize mothering never stops.  We never stop loving, worrying, caring, helping, wishing the best and at times feeling we could have or would have liked to have done more.  And we never stop wanting to spend time with our babies, as they will always be to us.  l don’t know if you still think of Stephanie and me as your “pots and pans”.  I know I still think of my boys as my little man, half-a-be, jelly bean and spratt.  They will always be our children, therefore we are always mothers.  How blessed we are.

You were always there for me.  Always willing to listen, regardless how minuscule and ridiculous.  You paid attention to my

My mom, sister and I on my wedding day

problem at hand and gave it importance with your thoughtful and good advice.  You protected me the best way you knew.  I might not always have agreed with you, but I know you came from a place of love, not meanness as I thought then.  I have learned from you that sometimes the best way to love our children, is to say no when it is needed.  It can be so hard because they will fight me as I know I fought you.  And I wasn’t always nice about it either….. I am sorry.  I didn’t apologize to you very often then I don’t think…  You always did – regardless of how wrong I probably was.  You always extended the first gesture and gave me a hug and said “let’s be friends and not fight”.  That must have been hard to do sometimes.  I’m not as good at that as you were.

I know you love me.

I wish you were closer so I could spend time with you today and do something special for you.  Luckily, I am going to see you in just a few days!  Can’t wait.

So, today I want to say thank you.  Thank you for your kindness, love, advice, time and for always being happy when I call you.

I love you.

Elisabeth xo

Mother’s Day from the perspective of a Step-Mom & Daughter-in-law

How do you celebrate your Mother’s Day?

What do you do for your wife/the mother of your children, on Mother’s Day?

Mother’s day is loaded with expectations, obligations and therefore often ends in disappointment.  Too often mom ends up making the day special for other moms, like their own mom or their mother-in-law and not much is done for them.

What do moms really want on Mother’s Day?  Speaking for myself – appreciation.  Acknowledgement of all sacrifices made and work done, and a lazy day 🙂  My ex-husband used to ask me what I wanted to do on Mother’s Day and all I ever asked for was to not do the daily stuff that day.  I didn’t want to have to bathe the kids, change their diapers, spoon-feed them etc.  I did this every day and wanted a break on this one day.  He was always good about accommodating this wish, probably partly because every Mother’s Day involved a brunch with his mom and dad and Nana along with our 4 young boys.

So, as I sit here thinking about Mother’s Day tomorrow… I am aware of that I am not only a mother, but also a daughter and a daughter-in-law, as well as a step-mom.  I have been a step-mom for a few years now.  So, how does one celebrate step-moms?  Should they be celebrated? Or do the step-kids not have to since she is not their mom?  That was the opinion of one of my step-daughters a few years ago, even though she was spending the day with us as her mom was away.  It really bothered her to have to do anything for me, more than usual.  I realized that a lot of this was because she was sad she wasn’t spending this day with her mom.  I think she might have even been a bit angry with her mom for going away on Mother’s Day weekend.   ‘Lucky’ for me I was the one who was on the receiving end of all the negative feelings that day.  It really upset me at the time.  I felt hurt, until I realized it likely had nothing to do with me personally.

So, what should step-kids do for their step-mom on Mother’s Day?  Something!  Show appreciation for that she also does a lot for them.  It is a day to say thank you.  That’s really all.  It’s not about the gifts for me.  I’m more about the gestures.  As with young children who can’t make things happen on their own, a lot of this has to fall on dad.  He needs to explain to the kids that wishing step-mom a happy Mother’s Day does not take away from their own mom.  He needs to help them understand that she does a lot for them as well since they live at both houses.  After a lot of tears on that day years ago, I think they (and their Dad) understood better, and they have been really sweet since.

Guys! I know your wife is not your mom, but she is the mother of your children.  Help them do something nice for her, but let them come up with the ideas.  And especially since you fully expect her to do something for your mom at some point that day.

As families evolve into new and different forms, the challenges change.  I would love to hear your story.

With love from a daughter, mother, daughter-in-law and step-mom ~ Elisabeth xo

The greatest challenges of being a mom

If you read my post yesterday, “5 things I would say to a New or Expectant Mom” you might be able to guess what some of my greatest challenges were as a mother.  Therefore I am going to share not just my challenges, but some that I hear from my clients when we are working together, or from Moms I meet.

But first, what is your greatest challenge as a mom?  What was the one thing you didn’t expect to be so difficult?

Now that my kids are older I look back and have a difficult time remembering some of the things I probably struggled with when they were younger.  So, before we talk about what the challenges are, let me say that this will pass, sooner than you think.  You might even miss it one day.

Lack of time

One of the most common complaints I hear is lack of time.  Time for yourself; time for/with your spouse; time to get things done; time to have a shower.  I do remember this well.  There were days when all I wanted was 3 minutes to go to the bathroom by myself without anyone knocking or barging in with some insignificant, and often minuscule perceived disaster.  This eventually graduated into wanting an hour or so to have an uninterrupted dinner with my husband or friend once in a while. But inevitably I would have to resolve an argument over whose turn it was to play xbox over the phone.  Solution: leave cellphone in purse and only check once per hour.  Trust your babysitter to take care of things.  And bathroom breaks… I told my boys that unless their was blood gushing from their body or an limb was falling off they were NOT to interrupt me under any circumstances…. It worked often enough 🙂

Lack of a sex-life

You might not be surprised to hear that not only moms complain about this… 😉  Yes, husbands complain about this as well – a lot.  This is a tough one.  Moms are exhausted.  They spend their day getting puked on, snotted on and yelled/cried/screamed at.  None of these things go a long way to feeling sexy, desirable or like having anyone else anywhere physically close to them.  Add to that no time to have a shower or any kind of personal care….  And, by the time dinner is over, homework done, driving to activities completed both parents are so exhausted that sleep is the only thing anyone wants.  It’s unfortunate really, because sex is fun and keeps us close with our partner.  My advice: Do it anyway, you will be glad  you did.  You know once you get started you will enjoy it 😉

Dealing with screaming, unreasonable, sick, or whatever (insert issue) children 

This was one of my greatest challenges; the insanity factor as I called it.  I wrote a bit about this in “Crazy Days”.  My days were so unpredictable.  I could have the greatest plan, but then something would happen and everything was thrown off.  This often resulted in that I could not go and visit someone, do what we had planned or that we were going to be an hour late as I was cleaning up some bodily fluid from somewhere, on something….. 😦

Leaving babies or young children with a baby sitter

Many moms find this very difficult.  They even struggle leaving them with their spouse at times.  Alert! I’m going to be scolding a little here: C’mon mom! Get over it!  You need to be able to trust those around you.  Nothing bad is going to happen to your baby if he/she is with their father.  They will do things differently.  The changetable with be messy when you get home and their outfit may be dirty because they forgot to put the bib on…. so what?!  Dad loves this time alone with their children.  They love when they come to him, instead of just going to you.  And you should love it too.  I know it is hard – really I do.  But it is so worth it!  You need to look after yourself and take time.

I could go on and on but will end as I feel I have hit the major ones.  Raising older kids have a whole different set of challenges which I will address another day.  You can read about many of my struggles in my previous posts like Mom Dilemma 1 and Mom Dilemma 2

Ok, now it is your turn to share 🙂  Please do so in comments below

Elisabeth

5 Things I would say to a New or Expectant Mom

First, let me say; I remember when I was pregnant, becoming mentally exhausted (and slightly scared) from all the well meaning, but unsolicited, and often unwanted, advice I received. Unfortunately, most of the advice given is scary, negative, old-fashioned and “I know best” kind of advice. I can honestly not remember one person who simply told me how much fun this was going to be. Or, how delivering a baby doesn’t necessarily turn you into a shrieking, husband-hating monster. Everyone is always so happy for you, yet, they can’t come up with one positive thing to say.

So, here is what I will want to say (if she asks…) to my future daughter-in-laws about how to survive, enjoy and graduate from motherhood (not that we ever stop being moms)

1.  Nourish yourself spiritually, emotionally and physically. You are about to become a mother, don’t lose yourself

While you are trying to become pregnant or are pregnant, pay attention to the little things that nourish you as a woman, a person and a friend and wife. What are the things that make you smile; make you feel happy and fulfilled? Is it time alone with

Practicing Self-Care helps you take care of you.

your spouse and/or friends? Is alone time important to you? Reading? Pick at least one of these and make time for it once the baby has arrived. You can do this AND be a wonderful, committed mother.

Prioritize your health. Learn what you need to about preparing for, pregnancy and recovering post partum. Find and see your local Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist. Learn about the inside of your body and pelvic floor. Do your Kegels and bind your belly immediately post partum.

2.  Treasure the moments

If you already have kids I am sure you have already heard advice like “don’t rush through it”, “enjoy, they grow so fast”. I heard it so many times, but still would think: “I wish he would walk soon”, “If only he could talk and tell me what he wants”

My oldest and I

I can tell you as someone who has 4 grown children and just moved one of my youngest out – They are right! Enjoy the small moments and the wonder. I know it gets crazy at times with these little, not always cooperating, but adorable people. I now spend a fair bit of time reminiscing and enjoying those memories in my mind. You see, I listened to that advice, but not well enough. I really tried to still my day and sit down with my boys and just enjoy the story they were telling, the cuddle or simply watching them do their thing quietly, but I worried about my house-work too. Now that they are older I still look for any opportunity to sit down and enjoy time with my boys.

3.  Parent in a way that feels right for you and your partner.

I figured out early on that I really only wanted to ask for and listen to advice from certain friends/family members, namely, those with similar parenting beliefs and philosophies. So, I rarely give advice, unless asked. And I never asked for advice except from those specific moms. That way you are not getting judged simply for asking and you don’t have to listen to advice you have no intention of following. Except for from your mother and mother-in-law of course, because they will give you advice whether you want it or not. Just listen, smile and nod…and then erase from your memory so it doesn’t sneak up on you in a weak moment 😉

4.  Prioritize your marriage/relationship

Your marriage comes first! You got together and had a family for a reason, now you owe it not only to yourselves, but to your children to make this work. I am divorced, and I can honestly say, there is no hockey game or practice, ballet recital, or homework assignment that is more important than that. Parenting and maintaining your relationship are two equally important entities. Obviously you will meet your children’s basic needs of life and much more. Make it just as important to do something for your relationship with your spouse every day. It can be really small like sitting down for 5 minutes together – alone and just being together; a kiss and a hug at the end of every day; a sweet text to say you are thinking of each other. And yes, schedule date nights – often, even if that simply means going to bed early and not watching television… 😉

5.  Be a mother, not a friend to your children

I too often hear mothers brag about how they are “best friends” with their daughter. It is great if you are close and share and talk to each other openly, but your daughter is not your bff, nor are you hers. Being a mother is a true privilege and pleasure and a very unique place in life. You are a confidant, advisor and the one who loves them without condition or limitation. With you they are completely safe. Safe to be wrong, inconsiderate, apologetic, remorseful, wonderful, funny, goofy and so much more. There is a life long bond between a mother and child that doesn’t need the tag of “best friends” to have meaning. Because when we try to be best friends we try not to displease. We don’t say things that might upset or anger them, and thus we stop parenting. It is our job as parents to say the things they don’t want to hear when they need to hear it. It is their friends’ job to cheer them up when you do. My boys don’t think of me as their best friend. I am their mother. I am always there for them and they know that. I am their first call when they need something, or want to share an experience. I feel so lucky to be that. I know one day their wives will take that place, but I also know they will still call me and check in, because that’s what we do.

Walking behind them I could actually see their little toddler self. I am so proud of the young men they have become.

Oh dear, this ended up being a little longer than I intended it to be, but thank you for sticking with me to the end. I would love to hear from you! What is the one thing you will tell a young mom one day?

With love, Elisabeth

The Crazy Days

Yesterday I witnessed a poor mother’s worst moment of her day, and I had to laugh… cause I’ve been there.  Sitting in my car outside my dentists’ office after my appointment, I see this young boy who is approx. 7 years old come running out of the building and get in his car.  I had heard him fussing about being seeing the dentist earlier.  Moments later his mother comes running out and goes to the car where she instructs him to get out right now and come with her.  He gets out and takes off down the street.  His poor mom goes chasing after him and apparently won the race because I saw her coming back with him a few seconds later, and she had a firm grip on his arm.  It made me remember many fun moments taking my boys to the dentist or hairdresser, swimming  and skating lessons.

Even though my boys are grown and some out of the nest now, I still remember the crazy days of raising 4 little boys.

Their father used to come home and complain about “crazy” people at work, or how stressful his days were.  He would even go as far as to say that he would prefer to do what I was doing so he wouldn’t have to deal with all the stress.  I would always say the same thing; “You have no idea what my day is like”.   You see, there is an element of unpredictability and craziness when you are raising little kids.  You could be the most organized person, and have the most fool-proof plan in place, but within seconds it goes out the window because someone pees their pants, throws up, pitches a fit or stuffs Skittles up his brothers nose!

No matter how many meetings you have to attend at your job, or

I know they are the right size, but they are not very happy in your toddler’s nose

how many people there make you angry, you never have to wipe their nose or bum, clean up their vomit, listen to them while they scream that you are the meanest person EVER while in a public place (if you do, I would seriously consider a career change!)

Raising 4 boys has been fun, exhausting, wonderful, stressful, beautiful and a true honour and privilege.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  But let’s not make it sound like the easy way out, or the “must be nice” option.  It is not always nice, but it is always worth it!

From one happy Mom who survived the crazy days to all of you who are still in the middle of it: You are the angels of your day and true heroes.  They might not thank you now, but you will get your reward eventually, and it is the best feeling in the world.

Disaster – We forgot rabbit on the plane!!

I read a post on Facebook the other day that made me remember something that happened several years ago.  The post was a search for a “Sophie” doll to replace the one lost.  Having 4 boys I have no idea how or where or what with regards to a Sophie doll, but I remember very well when my son forgot his beloved rabbit (or ‘raibbit’ as he called it) on the plane after a vacation.

As you can imagine, he was devastated when he discovered it was missing.  Tears…. lots of tears.  This particular little stuffy had been mine originally, but I put it in his crib when he was an infant and he took to it right away.  It was a small puppet and it

Jackson (1 year old) and his ‘raibbit’ 

was white with black flecks and long floppy ears.  He used to carry it around by its neck and he took it everywhere.  All my boys had some kind of comfort item they slept with and took with them.  I found it helped them settle when were away from home, especially when they were very young. Between the four of them there are two teddy bears, one rabbit and a batman cape.  As long as these items were with them, they would go to sleep anywhere and be happy.

The very next day I was at the airport in the lost and found area looking for it.  It was the saddest room I have ever been in.  An entire wall was dedicated to forgotten stuffed animals.  So many loved little furry bunnies, teddy bears, puppies etc, all just sitting there missing their owner, all except for rabbit 😥  It made me think of Toy Story when Woody goes looking for Andy.

I had to return home to tell him that it was not there.  More tears.  I promised him that we would go and look for a new rabbit.  Luckily this was around easter time and there were bunnies everywhere.  So, we went shopping.  Every toy store and department store we went to we would find the easter bunnies and he would hug them and hand them back and say “no, it doesn’t feel right”  You see, all these bunnies were the big, very stuffed kind.  Not soft like his.  I was running out of places to go to when another woman saw this very sad process and asked me what exactly I was looking for.  I explained and she said she had seen some cute little bunnies at Pottery barn for kids.  Off we went!  And there we found a cute, small, yellow rabbit that had long floppy ears.  He hugged it (holding it by the neck), played a little with the ears.  Hugged it again.  Looked at it, at length… I was almost in tears.  He looked at me after what seemed like an eternity and said “I think this one will work”  PHEW!!!

He was 5 or 6 then.  Now he is 19 and away at school.  Rabbit was left at home and sits on his bed and waits for him to come home.  We all still remember the original rabbit, but love the new one as well.

A day in NYC with my boys

As part of a planned family reunion happening on Long Island this past December at Christmas time I decided the boys and I would stop in NYC for an extra 24 hours since they have never been.

Enter my little red Hyundai Tucson and 4 very tall boys and one mom.  It was a tight squeeze.  One that would feel much tighter at the end of it all.  Our drive to New York was uneventful and long.  As we got closer their excitement increased.  We took turns driving, but I drove us at the end, and was glad I did because it was awesome to hear their comments when we crossed the George Washington bridge.  It was dark and the skyline was lit up beautifully.  They could see it all.  No matter how old our kids are there is something magical about being part of your children’s first experiences.

Don’t get me wrong, all magic aside; travelling with your kids, especially adult ones, can cause all kinds of tension and there was some of that.  But the wonderful thing about families is that despite the fact we can get on each other’s nerves in a way that no one else can, it’s over just as quickly.  We all wanted to have a good time, so once they adapted to that I was boss and my word was law, then it was all good 😉  Actually, in all honesty, I only had to use the “because I said so and I decide” line when it came to who sat where in the car.

It felt great to stretch out and move our bodies after a long and squishy car ride

I am always nervous when I order hotels I have never heard of online, but we lucked out.  We checked into our hotel and a big room with 3 queen beds and a nice big gym for us to burn off some energy in downstairs.  And did I mention the parking was free!!!

The next day was great.  It has been a long time since I walked that much but that is what one does in New York.  We saw so many sights.  The boys were snapping pictures all over the place.  Mom was too.  And mom was happy, because they were so happy.

Simulating the snowball fight from “Elf”

I felt so blessed.  I had a whole day, hanging out in the most exciting city, alone with my four wonderful boys.  So many fun things happened, like the guy in the sunglass Hut asking if they were a boy band.  And then he danced while singing for them.  They had a pretend snowball fight like in the “Elf” movie.  We saw some great street entertainers and took many pictures in locations they have seen in many movies.

They even patiently waited in stores for me to look around.  I repeat – patiently.  They love their mom 🙂

Now that the boys are older, getting them all together for a meal is hard enough, never mind several days – away from home.  When the opportunity came up I was wavering, but it was my darling husband (not their father) who pointed out that this was a very rare thing.  “Just go” he said, and he was right.  Thank you for always understanding and supporting me, my love.  I will always treasure the time my boys and I had together in New York.

Sometimes I just can’t believe that they are all mine.  I made them.  They are my boys.  I still remember them as little adorable babies and toddlers, but there they are, all grown up, handsome and awesome (from a mother’s perspective of course… )